11/11/2008, New York, 15:50 PM.
An autumnal gust sweeps across central park carrying with it the detritus of a Pin Oak Tree and a clutch of paper hotly pursued by a man in a purple overcoat. He was one of perhaps four-dozen chilly bodies scattered upon a vermillion carpet of leaves, each with pen and paper held aloft like gavels and weapons of war. This scene is not of students or tourists but of some of the finest writers and performers in the English speaking world. The World League of Satirists is holding its first emergency meeting since the 1970’s, and it is in response to probably the most important piece of news in 2008. Barack Obama has been elected the first black president of the United States.
This is widely perceived as good news across America. It is evidence of a growing maturity among its people, a willingness to remember the past but embrace the future; a final acknowledgement that the issue of race is no longer important to most Americans in the 21st Century. A message of hope and opportunity has galvanized a people and brought the nation closer again to the global community, certainly a positive. Yet there are those for whom Mr Obama’s victory carries the threat of doom, be they hardcore Republicans, latter-day Clintonistas or people terrified of such swift and radical change. The group with the most to lose, however, are the satirists.
The election of George Bush in 2000 provided perhaps the richest seam of material for political satirists in the modern era. Not since Richard Nixon has the global media been able to make such great play of a President. John Stewart, Stephen Colbert and Frank Caliendo are some of the beneficiaries of Bush’s beneficent imbecility. A President almost beyond parody, he has made himself so easy to mock and such an available hate figure that American comedians have barely had to break a sweat to gain a laugh at his expense. Indeed he has always seemed to have had a gift for humour himself as his various malapropisms seem to attest. Lines such as “I will work to end terriers and barrifs everywhere across the world” and “I understand small business growth- I was one” seem to suggest a surreal comic genius to rival Peter Cook’s, or at least an intellect so backwards as to qualify for reverse-genius. And here lies the problem; it has all been too easy. Even foreign comedians have made great play of the 43rd President of the United States. Shows such as Bremner, Bird and Fortune and Dead Ringers in the United Kingdom have made Bush their stock-in-trade as a guaranteed laugh between sketches. Adequate comedy is rendered merely by adding an “ification” and country boy drawl to any poorly conjugated verb. The situation is thus: Bush has been a blessing to razor sharp and lazy comedians the world over.
Stewart, Colbert et al made it crystal clear who they wanted to win the election on November 4th. Publically at least an Obama victory will be celebrated, but privately media funny men are biting their fingernails. Where do they go from here? And that is why the World League of Satirists have called this emergency meeting.
Proceedings began in the usual fashion, with all members placing their hands upon a copy of Jonathan Swift’s A Modest Proposal and chanting the words “If there be emiction to educe, our pens shall resteth not, and where there be chance to rest, then may our pens educeth emiction”. This was followed by the traditional ‘hounding of the moth’, the moth being replaced by a tethered sparrow due to the Fall clime. After the preamble the assembled comics got down to business, ‘Honcho’ Gibbons, Chair of the League, opening the ‘Jesters Synod’ with a statement oozing with gravitas: “Gentlefolks, satire is imperilled”. The watching throng nodded agreement as the Chair continued. “We are facing a period of want unknown to us in the jolly wing of the fifth estate, a bleak time of hardship with the lack of funny material biting hard. Americans are happy with their President Elect; we have ourselves endorsed this man. People who were easily divided are now united under the colours of a mixed race Commander-In-Chief. He is magnanimous, his PR polished, his mantra we have trumpeted. What are we to do?” The ensuing silence revealed the paucity of ideas amongst the world’s jokester class.
Yet it could all have been so different. Although Mr McCain is widely respected both amongst his fellow politicians and the global media, his age and slightly stuttering manner of address would have provided comics the world over with easy, oft-repeatable material. He himself at times seemed an alumni of the Class of Bush, such as with the glorious phrase “Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran”, a quote more likely to ignite a comic arsenal than a military one. Although not as soft a target as ‘Dubya’, there was certainly potential to a McCain administration.
McCain, however much the goose, was not the golden egg. Only now are elements of the media waking up and realising what an opportunity they have missed in Sarah Palin. Kenny Pelengu’rzoi’oi of the Chicago Bathbun & Mattress recently put it thus:
“She had the potential to be the greatest of them all: political bungler, gun slingin’, red-blooded yet domestic, mother of 35, rich but poor hockey mom aspirant and mental deficient with a talent for inconsistency and gaffes, Sarah ‘Ladies and gentlemen there’s a whole ocean of oil under our feet!’ Palin. And to think we had all that material and STILL we voted for Obama! Aaah!”
Some satirists are hoping that some of Obama’s appointments over the coming weeks prove to be disastrous. Indeed, Jimmy ‘Jim’ Cheyrou, political commentator, humorist and Delaware bus driver has ventured the suggestion of one or other of the Clintons forming part of an Obama government, although he suggests that it is “…more touch than go”. Many Republican humorists are still smarting that Hillary never got the Democrat nomination, as a Clinton win- although for them morally unendurable- would have guaranteed their financial security. A Clinton appointment by Obama would throw out a lifeline to satirists everywhere, showing an administration’s support for an industry on the brink of collapse. Indeed, UK unemployment would stand at around 1.92 million if satire were to collapse. It is important to note, however, that that figure is only fourteen greater than if it were to survive.
Although Obama cannot be said to beyond criticism it is, for the short term at least, very difficult to imagine a receptive audience for ‘Obama-ripping’. America has its swagger back, a nation confident overnight as a consequence of the events of last Tuesday. He is yet to put a foot clearly wrong and is well received across much of the media. Although one or two journalists fear that they may be mildly constrained in their criticism by the fear of appearing racist or bigoted, in truth it is more the cathartic nature of his victory than a fear of prejudice that has swept him to almost unparalleled political popularity. There is the glimmer of hope for satirists. When the euphoria of Bush’s departure and the arrival of a multi-racial President starts to fade and the honeymoon is over, when campaigning stops and government begins, Barack Obama will lose much of his sheen, and then perhaps may reveal amusing quirks or even, heaven forfend, make mistakes. Will people try to turn utopia into dystopia? Will comedians pounce?
Sir Tucket Mayflodonk, famed for his play ‘Whither Nether Whether Nither Thither?..’ thinks not. “I think that it is highly likely that, all things considered, we will either just go even harder for the Republicans or just invent a new hate figure. George Lazenby, he only made one Bond film, could it be him? We could uncover something about the Queen I suppose, perhaps even that she tried to shoot Gandhi and ate Ant & Dec or something. You never know- that’s the wonderful thing about political humour- politics never stops to use the bathroom or crochet or anything!”
Such optimism is clearly not evident amongst the League members in New York. Such is the threat to satire that their sworn enemies, the Satirists Global Alliance & Dairy Subsidiaries, has suggested a “meeting of thinks”. Few suggestions manifest themselves in response to the Chairs question of what is to be done. One man, Claude Tote, ventures: “Brainwash Jon Stewart into being a die-hard Republican. No, better yet, make him think he’s a clan member”. He is presented with the ‘Metaphorical Satsuma of Stupidity’ and sat on his own. As the sun begins to sink behind the crimsoning trees, painting the bordering man-mountains a kingly gold, voices intermittently and hesitantly submit desperate propositions. Finally a man in a purple overcoat suggests: “We could all work a little harder. You know, hold a government to account properly this time around”. Fortunately for the Chair, Satsuma’s come cheap by the pound.
Writingification By: Christopher O’Donnell, reporting from an imaginary New York.
The Quindley-Fluff Frontiersman would like to extend its hearty congratulations to the invigorating President Elect Barack Obama and commiserations to the magnanimous John McCain. Toady toady.
©The Quindley-Fluff Frontiersman 2008
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